Watching Helplessly…..

It ‘s indeed the lowest time of my life sometime I just feel that if I could have a bit of control on the situation around me. Don’t even know where I should start hmmm…..
Well Min just lost her job and she been seating at home for a week she been try her level best to apply for jobs everywhere but nothing seems to be working as plans. Within the smiles she crafted each day I know she is hiding the gloomy feelings just to avoid us from feeling worried over this little test Allah set for her.

As a brother I’ve tried my best to contact my contact but ever since I forwarded her resume no news since then. Deep down in my heart I know this is a little test Allah has set for her to test the faith towards Him. I feel hopeless because I can’t do anything to help her over come this hurdles she is going through.

No doubts that Min has always gave me the supports needed be it morally or financially but right now when she is going through this test I can’t do much but just take up my hand and ask for Allah’s helps. I even tried search for a part-time data entry job with hope this will be her temporary shield for her during this hurdle end up getting deceive.

Ya Allah I’ve tried all my level best to help ease or should I say preparation to over come this hurdle but still at the end I still failed and lost everything. As a brother I sincerely hope Min’s test will be over soon and I’m confident that Allah is in the midst of preparing something better for her. Well like what people always said best things in life take longer time to arrive and when that good things arrived nothing else can stop it.
Well that’s about Min now back to my part of the story hmmm…

Lately the wages that I earned don’t seem to stay long with me for example right now inside my wallet only has less the RM10. The saddest part of all is I can’t even take my parents and sisters for a decent meal. Don’t talked about a meal sometime I can’t even afford to pay for their medicine, only Allah know how low I felt when I’m put at that situation. I know all the money that’s with me doesn’t belong to me since all the money belongs to Allah.

As mentioned earlier I even tried on a part time data entry job but that also doesn’t work out for me, the objective of starting this part time data entry business earlier is to ensure I’m able to pay back all the soft loan that I took from dad for my MBA and allocated some of the money to cover Min’s expenses and use some of the portion to take the whole family for Umrah but that also didn’t work-out for me. Feeling like everything is crumpling right in front of my very own eye to be honest at first I felt very frustrated with the situation I’m going through.

I even shouted on the open skies just now feeling so bad I really hope Allah wouldn’t send me to hell for my action morning. I know with my sins that’s in my body my permanent place is hell. Ya Allah please forgive me for all the sins I’ve done if tonight is my last day in this world please accept me and place me near to you and my leader the Prophet SAW be gentle and I seek your mercy and when you look upon to me.

Just when I was undergoing the frustration and hopeless feeling I guess Allah still shower me with abundant of loves by opening my eye and ear through the email from Peter Voon and “Anjakan Paradigm” TV program. The program talked about when Allah test His servant means He loves them and is also His way telling that I’m preparing something better for you. After watching the program then I realized that Allah is preparing something better for me, my parents and sisters. In order for that to happen I ops I meant we need to be patient and consistent undergoing His test.

Doa Yang Terbeku Dalam Hati Hambamu Yang Lemah Ini

Ya Allah
Bantu la ku, bimbing la ku, selesaikan masalah yang ku hadapi ini.
Sesungguhnya aku la hanba mu yang lemah,
Tidak terdaya melakukan apa melainkan mengharapkan bantuan dan bimbingan dariMu.
Sesungguhnya aku yakin hanya padaMu dan tabah serta pasrah atas segala masalah yang dihadapi ini. Aku bertadah tangan memohom bantuan padaMu.
Jadikan hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini pada diriku dan Keluargaku