Darkest Times in M

Lately that’s a lot of thing related to my work keep occupying my mind.
As reader of this blog I believe you might be aware that the economic crisis is just around the corner and every company stop hiring and freeze budget and other crabs going on as usual.
Now back to my work dilemma honestly, speaking I don’t really feel happy working in M due the many reasons but here are the few that has a huge impact on me are:
1.Work is not really challenging.
2.Need to deal with raw data all the time especially numbers related.
3.Keep doing mistake because the previous person thought me the wrong things.

Because of these reasons every morning when I open my eye I find it so hard to get up of bed and sometime I even find excuse to create hatred towards Nyak for making me taking up a contract job rather then a permanent job.

But then I realized something nyak is actually a medium Allah used to get me out of Spansion as there might be more disaster awaits me there. As a matter of fact I’m very thankful and happy for taking this job even though its contract, reason being so is because I finally don’t have to put-up with the people who has negative influence over me and also not forgeting the permanent day job which observed Malaysia holiday huhuhu.

Right after one month I joined the department I’ve been requested by H to provide support to his group at that point of time I was thrill with the invitation to provide additional supportive roles to H’s group. Not knowing that my so called “supportive” roles to covered D who has express her intention to resign.

During my first meeting with D at Langkawi room everything was as smooth as silk she brief me what she does and how she crunch all the raw data. At first I was thrill even although I’m aware that my weakness is in data crunching and dealing with number.
Reason why I’m so confident I can do it it’s because I thought D will teach me sincerely with nothing to hide.

In short what D does in the past 3 years I only have the chance to learn up from her in 3 weeks right after that I flew solo without any guidance. During these 3 weeks times there are many time which D will talked to me about her dissatisfaction with H. some of the comment which still stay fresh on my mind as I’m bloging right now is “his style is very weak” “did you know that some of the manager talk behind H on his way of doing work” “H & N don’t really demonstrate a good leadership style that can motivate D to pursue her career in M”.

Hmmmm… this are some of the cute remarks was embedded to me when I was undergoing my training on the new supportive roles. Sad sad sad… while D’s serving her termination I notice that she don’t really feel like teaching me the job but what choice does she have at that point of time, on her left hand is me standing helplessly not knowing what is the whole crab about and on the right hand H is looking at her patiently with no hatred or anger with hope that she can share as much as possible.

So the only option left for D was to just teach la… so what she did was just teach for the purpose of just teaching not for the purpose of really ensuring the next person would be able to execute the job effective and efficiently.

Many things that she thought me weren’t really accurate and some would be very misleading. At first after D left many mistake happen from my end I even got scolding from the business manager. The whole thing really makes look bad as if I’m the biggest idiot hired to get the job done.

On 28th November I finally decided I’m not going to continue with what D does if I’m going to get scolding then its better I do it my style then the scolding is worth it. Otherwise I might as well forget about it.
To be frank 28th November was my darkest day in M I was leaving under her shadow and the whole experience wasn’t pleasant for me. Therefore on that day I promise myself that I need to change my mind set from an executor to a business manager.

The change of mind set begins with the niat “For Allah S.W.T and to Allah S.W.T I do my job nothing else I expect from Him besides His blessing” I don’t deny at first I was really upset why this happen to me. Then I realize something the more I don’t depend on D the more friendships created along my journey in M as I go around asking people like P, J,A,J,C,R.

Now day’s I live my life for Allah and to Allah I seek for help, because He created this world and the seventh heaven in His command. And believe it or not after changing the way I think and Alhamdulilah today at this moment while I’m bloging everything is running smoothly.

When I’m at difficulties I always mumble why life is always so hard on me. Believe it or not I even feel like running away sometime. Then until one find day I finally got it all this time Allah has been very kind to me He gave me chance day by day to fix the mistake I made. He gave me mom and dad who always pray for me non-stop no matter what happen, He gave me extra $$ to allow me to belanja my parents, he gave me two sisters who help me and cheer up my life each day. And the most important thing is He gave me additional money to allow me to do charity for the orphan.

Amin Amin Amin rabilalamin praise to Allah Lord of the world with all these priceless gift from Him I finally found my the peace in mind and heart that I’ve been looking for. And good news is finally I’m able to stay focus in my job.

After going through the roller coaster ride I’m thankful and I will live with my new tagline which is “For Allah and to Allah I live my life”.