Blessed Raya Celebration

The begin of Syawal marks the end of Ramadhan there is mixture of both happy and sad feeling during this good month. Personally for me there is some improvement needed from my side after Ramadhan whereby I need to put a stop on my old habit. Inconjunction with the good month of Syawal I think is fair to put a stop and vow to live a better lifestyle for the Allah.

Alhamdulilah, this year Syawal celebration goes  well  and moderate with only family members and closed family friends gather around,  some catching up with old friends and relatives had strengthen our bond. My praise and thanks to Allah for granting a blessed Raya to us.

Even though Syawal celebration were celebrated moderately in the family, however for me I still miss my son present during Raya Celebration with me at home. I always remember a quote” there is never a prefect moments in life, unless we create the moment ourself”.

Having the quote at the end of my mind I’ve taken some time to call my son to wish him during the raya celebration. Having the chance to hear his happy voice and greeting of “salamm” accompany with firecracker sound at the back had make my day. Having the chance to ask how was his raya and the food he told me he had a good time in Melaka. 

Judging from the tone and the background sound I honestly believe he had an amazing time there. Honestly I’m very happy to have the chance to speak to my son and listen to his voice was a biggest gift by Allah to me. Never the least I told my little son we will celebrate once he is back in Penang.   

Now that the celebration is over and everything is back to normal including work and studies…  InsyaAllah hopefully everything goes smooth as planned. Better live towards Allah as HE is sufficient for me in my life.

Clarity and Calmness is Bliss!!

Alhamdulilah
It was once upon a time ago…
Priorities had changed for so many reasons so does the weather ….
The future looks more promising now then before focus and looking forward to have more fun and interesting experience in this amazing journey. The new tag-line “Pray, eat and focus on the main goals (personal and family)” the rest is just not important and not urgent. (y) Amin

Diary of The New Journey Day 01

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim / بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

Thanks to Allah for the first day of my journey

Overall, everything is good some positive progress took place today, even though it’s not a big deal but I some how completed what I’ve planned to do for the day.

A balance distribution of responsibility at my end, let’s take a quick recap of the progress

(1)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my creator?

Fasting completed, prayers done sincerely, zikir, dhuha pray and recital of the Holy Quran 2 surahs.

(2)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my parents?

Wishes my parents with kind words and help them to reduce their burden and not forgetting to pray for them and love them.

(3)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my son?

Did my part as father to my son by helping him and also not forgetting to pray for him in all the prayers.

(4)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my studies?

Manage to spend some time to do my reading on the research topic one journal and manage to gain to good point to support my research.

(5)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my own?

I managed to get some good rest and charge my body while clearing up my credit card transfer payment. Managed to spent time on spiritual activities indulgence at the mosque.

(6)    Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my work?

Its weekend tries not to think too much about work but overall most tasks completed on Friday.

Some good take away for today:

We’re always too busy with the smallest things in our life that we forget the urgent and important thing(s) that actually has a huge impact on us hereafter. Not forgetting to always say Alhamdullilah for all the blessing Allah had granted to us.

Sometime Allah gives us rewards which we never expect including the feeling of calmness and is HE who we shall returned to.  I really count my blessing because HE gave me so much but I still don’t see it during that time. At my age I’m happy and thankful for be granted a son who is obedience, a chance to pursue my PhD, a parents who ever loving and caring for me all the time.

For that I should be thankful and I surrender my life entirely to You Ya Allah please guide me and help me and always place me under Your watchful eye Ya Allah!!  

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim / بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم The wave of change just begin!!

I begin this journey by saying Bismillahirrahmanirrahim / بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم 

Taken into consideration that I will be starting my PhD journey it’s only fair that I start recording my daily activities in this blog. As a start lets look at what have I accomplished for the day and how can I improved further for a better tomorrow. Well there is an old saying that goes like this “if you want to be successful, we got to think and act successful”.

In this holly month I believe is a good start making some changes in to ensure a balance and healthier lifestyle to win in the journey of PhD. Is not going to be easy but at the same time I never say is impossible to achieve either. To ensure this mission accomplished every night before I go to bed here are some quick check and balance questions I should be asking myself:

(1) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my creator?

(2) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my parents?

(3) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my son?

(4) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my studies?

(5) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my own?

(5) Have I fulfilled my responsibilities to my work?

These questions might sound simple but yet it does have rather huge impact on my daily life, in the event if I felt sad or anger over an issues it should be consider solved after I captured it in the blog. The main objective is to ensure I stay focus on the important and urgent things in life.

This also means that is ok for me to say “no” or “I’m sorry I don’t think I can accommodate to your request” it doesn’t mean that I don’t care but I just need to be fair to myself and for my future. Beside the key questions I should also learn to talk less, listen and read more, this means more Zikir and devotes my life to Allah.

I need to Take time to ponder what I’ve done and does it provide any goodness and get me closer to my Creator? If the answer is yes then means I’m in the right track. Otherwise repent for the wrong doing. But most importantly  is be “truthful to myself”

Watching Helplessly…..

It ‘s indeed the lowest time of my life sometime I just feel that if I could have a bit of control on the situation around me. Don’t even know where I should start hmmm…..
Well Min just lost her job and she been seating at home for a week she been try her level best to apply for jobs everywhere but nothing seems to be working as plans. Within the smiles she crafted each day I know she is hiding the gloomy feelings just to avoid us from feeling worried over this little test Allah set for her.

As a brother I’ve tried my best to contact my contact but ever since I forwarded her resume no news since then. Deep down in my heart I know this is a little test Allah has set for her to test the faith towards Him. I feel hopeless because I can’t do anything to help her over come this hurdles she is going through.

No doubts that Min has always gave me the supports needed be it morally or financially but right now when she is going through this test I can’t do much but just take up my hand and ask for Allah’s helps. I even tried search for a part-time data entry job with hope this will be her temporary shield for her during this hurdle end up getting deceive.

Ya Allah I’ve tried all my level best to help ease or should I say preparation to over come this hurdle but still at the end I still failed and lost everything. As a brother I sincerely hope Min’s test will be over soon and I’m confident that Allah is in the midst of preparing something better for her. Well like what people always said best things in life take longer time to arrive and when that good things arrived nothing else can stop it.
Well that’s about Min now back to my part of the story hmmm…

Lately the wages that I earned don’t seem to stay long with me for example right now inside my wallet only has less the RM10. The saddest part of all is I can’t even take my parents and sisters for a decent meal. Don’t talked about a meal sometime I can’t even afford to pay for their medicine, only Allah know how low I felt when I’m put at that situation. I know all the money that’s with me doesn’t belong to me since all the money belongs to Allah.

As mentioned earlier I even tried on a part time data entry job but that also doesn’t work out for me, the objective of starting this part time data entry business earlier is to ensure I’m able to pay back all the soft loan that I took from dad for my MBA and allocated some of the money to cover Min’s expenses and use some of the portion to take the whole family for Umrah but that also didn’t work-out for me. Feeling like everything is crumpling right in front of my very own eye to be honest at first I felt very frustrated with the situation I’m going through.

I even shouted on the open skies just now feeling so bad I really hope Allah wouldn’t send me to hell for my action morning. I know with my sins that’s in my body my permanent place is hell. Ya Allah please forgive me for all the sins I’ve done if tonight is my last day in this world please accept me and place me near to you and my leader the Prophet SAW be gentle and I seek your mercy and when you look upon to me.

Just when I was undergoing the frustration and hopeless feeling I guess Allah still shower me with abundant of loves by opening my eye and ear through the email from Peter Voon and “Anjakan Paradigm” TV program. The program talked about when Allah test His servant means He loves them and is also His way telling that I’m preparing something better for you. After watching the program then I realized that Allah is preparing something better for me, my parents and sisters. In order for that to happen I ops I meant we need to be patient and consistent undergoing His test.

Doa Yang Terbeku Dalam Hati Hambamu Yang Lemah Ini

Ya Allah
Bantu la ku, bimbing la ku, selesaikan masalah yang ku hadapi ini.
Sesungguhnya aku la hanba mu yang lemah,
Tidak terdaya melakukan apa melainkan mengharapkan bantuan dan bimbingan dariMu.
Sesungguhnya aku yakin hanya padaMu dan tabah serta pasrah atas segala masalah yang dihadapi ini. Aku bertadah tangan memohom bantuan padaMu.
Jadikan hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini pada diriku dan Keluargaku

Junction of my life!

Many things has happen lately…..
After tolerating with data mining job for almost 6 months, I finally decided to end the headache I’m facing day in day out. On 30th March, 2009 I finally tendered my resignation letter.

Do I feel good about it?
Yes indeed I felt much better life has become much brighter, lighter and happier.
With the economic situation not getting any better, I definitely can feel the pinch especially when applying for jobs…

Last night while sleepy I really feel so scare, hopeless and sad because I’ve disappointed mom and dad can't afford to give them great life, a lots of money to spend and even take them for holiday annually…. FYI, till todate they still have no clue that I've tendered my resignation

At this point of time I’m still getting financial assistant from them to undergo my studies……. Less then two weeks before my employment here in Motorola end, I still can’t find a job what’s going to happen to me? Allah Please...:(

To be honest I seem to lose the peace of mind and hearth which I use to have it few months back.

I don’t know who else I can count on for now beside Allah s.w.t sometime I felt that Allah have been very merciful to me and instead of living and dedicating my life to him I do the things He forbids.

Ya Allah engkau berilah diriku kekuatan utk menghadapi dugaan.
Janganla hanyutkan diriku kedalam lautan dosaku dalam keadaan buta.
Hanya Engkau aku harapkan bantuan, ketenangan, dan Syurga Firdaus Mu Ya Allah

Izinku Pergi

Great Piece of Song which I find it so easy to relate......

Sinaran mata cerita segalanya
duka lara terpendam memori semalam
tinggal segala cinta tiada kembalinya
abadi kasih kita kau bawa bersama
mimpi indah mekar saat cinta bersemi
sedetik asmara syurga selamanya

Pergilah rinduku hilangkan dirimu
tak sanggup menanggung derita di kalbuku
pergilah sayangku bermula semula
semangat cintaku membara kerana diatiada niatku

Tersemat jiwa setia bersamanya
cinta murni berdua beribu tahunnya
mimpi indah mekar saat cinta bersemi
sedetik asmara syurga selamanya

Pergilah rinduku hilangkan dirimu
tak sanggup menanggung derita di kalbuku
pergilah sayangku bermula semula
semangat cintaku membara kerana dia
tiada niatku

ohh pergilah sayangku bermula semula
semangat cintaku membara kerana dia
tiada niatkumaafkan daku duhai kasih
izinkan ku pergi ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFQV8vSYJik